I joined a writing challenge group – I know because I don’t have enough going on, right? But honestly, it was the only way I could ensure that I would write and write regularly until it became a habit.
I love this blog, I really do, but it takes a back seat sometimes. I mean there are two children to be fed and loved and cared for and then there’s work and my husband and SLEEP, oh there’s glorious sleep – when I can get it. So if forced to choose between sleep and creative writing – *YAWN* – well you can read between the lines.
So my first challenge is to just write – write about what’s on my mind……
OMG could they not have given me a specific topic? I mean write about what’s on my mind???? Well first I have to make my mind stay on one thing long enough to write about it and my mind usually jumps topics every 1.789 seconds.
So while driving home I took a few minutes to consider, what is on my mind?
FAILURE! Thoughts related failure consume me.
This cannot be healthy, I know.
But I have some thoughts on my thoughts!
First, I don’t think I’m alone in this dark world of failure. I think a lot of moms live there with me.Everyday I feel like I stink as a mom at least 87 times a day. I think “how can I be a better mom so I’m not a failure”? I am bombarded with articles, blogs, posts, articles, ebooks, facebook story links all promising to help me be a better mom, person and wife…. I don’t even have to go look for them, they arrive in my inbox or on my facebook page or twitter account…. Here are the things I received articles on just today…. all in one day….that I should master according to various social media outlets:
how to be a better mom,
how to not be an angry mom,
how to use essential oils on my children for health,
why my children should not eat anything yellow… or red…. or that had a face,
how to feed my children “clean food” – and I don’t mean “dirt free”
how to make sure they grow up to be better husbands (they are 2 and 7 months, mind you),
how to pray scripture over my boys everyday,
how to organize my house in 30 days,
how to make my own all natural weed killer,
how to take time for myself to make me a better mother (when do I have time with all this reading?)
Today is obviously going to be a very busy day! The point is I am just overwhelmed with messages telling me I could and should be doing life better.
Here is the problem – all this stuff…. it get’s in my head and it messes with me. It undermines me. It takes away my confidence as a mother and it makes me doubt myself! It makes me feel bad about me!
This all got me thinking about my mom and when she was raising me as a toddler, *cough* 35-38 years ago *cough*
She was a stay at home mom, we lived in a trailer until I was 8, my parents only had 1 car when I was a toddler and my dad took it to work, so she was stuck at home. There was no internet or cell phone or blogs or social media. There was no facebook or pinterest.
All she had was her gut, God and Donahue, that’s it!
I survived and I had a happy childhood and I was healthy and well adjusted.
Imagine – I survived without essential oils.
Here’s the thing – I think we are overwhelmed with information and I don’t think it’s helping as much as it’s hurting. Yet, we can’t help ourselves. We can’t unplug.
I’m as guilty as the next! If I see that article on something I should be doing as a mother I cannot help but click it. I think it’s our human nature to want to the best we can be….. but in that I think we are selling ourselves short. I think we are making ourselves less.
We are shrinking ourselves to fit into other people’s boxes.
Some of the information is good – I’m not saying it’s bad information – I’m just saying there is too much of it and it’s too in our face and we take it to heart too much!
We are letting it control us, or at least I am and I don’t think I’m alone.
Almost every day my 2 year old says to me, at some point, “Mommy, let’s have some fun” and when I ask him what he wants to do, he usually wants to chase each other; that’s it, just chase him in the backyard.
When I do that, when I just chase him, he laughs uncontrollably and he knows he has my full attention and he feels loved.
In those moments, he is happy, healthy, fed and well-adjusted and that’s all any of us wants as a mom. So for today, I’m gonna chase him because tomorrow he will be a day older and there is plenty of time to worry about what kind of husband he will be one day.
Today we should just run free, free from worry, free from condemning articles, free from the condemnation of our heads and we should just chase happiness for a little while. We don’t need all those articles. All we need to know about happiness and joy can be learned simply by watching a toddler!
Tag! You’re it!